


Little Heaven

by weapon13WhiteFang



Category: The Walking Dead - All Media Types
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Religious Imagery & Symbolism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-27
Updated: 2014-10-27
Packaged: 2018-02-22 20:02:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2520002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weapon13WhiteFang/pseuds/weapon13WhiteFang
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“This is your heaven, Merle. This is what you've wanted, deep down. Stability, a family, a closeness. This is what you've been granted.”</p><p>A study and play of "What happens after death"? But nothing sad or morbid, I swear lol!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little Heaven

Pokin. Something was pokin' him and it was starting to piss him off. Whatever it was felt soft and there was multiple tiny, warm whatevers touching at his face and tugging at his nose. He wrinkled his nose and grit his teeth, snapping his eyes open and getting ready to throw whoever the fuck was touching him on their ass!

… Until he found himself staring at a little girl with bright blue eyes and curly blonde hair. Merle's fist – having been clinched and ready to pound whoever was touching him – went slack and he blinked slowly. The tiny girl blinked back at him before she gave him a big grin and grabbed at his face.

Merle scowled and shook his head free of her grip, dragging a loud squeal from the child as she babbled at him. She didn't say much. Only a few of the words were fully coherent enough for him to make out. But the word he did catch made him almost jump and run; “Dada!”

Merle blinked as the little girl repeated it before he slowly started to push himself up. His vision swam as he got to a sitting position, but slowly he was able to make out that he was sitting in a rathe large bed with a dark blue comforter and white sheets and pillows. The room he was in was a large master bedroom with two dressers, two bedside stands, a large rocking chair, a large looking closet, and dark blue painted walls and an eggshell colored ceiling and a hardwood floor.

“Daddeh!” the little girl cooed, causing Merle's head to snap her way.

He watched as the tiny girl – who had to be about two – tried to climb up onto the bed, her little limbs not strong enough, but her little tongue poked out in determination. He stared as she lost her grip and fell back hard on her diapered bottom. He tensed, waiting for the wail that kids usually let out when they fell.

Instead the little runt huffed, her curly hair – in little pigtails – bouncing and blowing out of her face as she got up on wobbling legs and grabbed at the mattress and tried again, causing a strange warmth of what felt like pride to swell inside him.

“Charlene? Charle- There you are!” 

Merle's eyes snapped from the child to find himself swallowing thickly. Making her way through the doorway in a shirt too big and a pair of red flannel pajama pants, was Girl. Hersehl's youngest daughter. Little Beth Greene... Only she didn't look so little at the moment.

She was fucking huge! Pregnant huge!

Merle's mouth dried and stared, tensing and watching as Girl reached down and scooped the baby – who was still trying to climb up onto the bed with him – up into her arms. The child let out a squeal as Girl nuzzeld her nose to the child and held her, adjusting so that the child would be comfortable in her arm, even with her rounded stomach.

“Merle? You're still in bed! Get up, lazy! Daryl and Carol will be here and I need your help getting Hank and Conway-” Girl didn't get to finish as she was interrupted by a loud crash and an angry wale.

“MOMMY!”

“I DIDN'T DO IT!”

Girl cringed at the noise and Merle – who'd jumped as well from the loud crash – stared wide eyed and stiff at where the noise was coming from. Instantly he was dragged back to when he'd been sixteen and hearing his old man banging around in the livingroom as he'd tried to keep Daryl – only six at the time – quiet.

His muscles stiffened as a soft hand reached out and gently rubbed his shoulder. His eyes snapped to Girl, who looked concerned. He opened his mouth to tell her to not touch him, but he found himself leaning into the touch and his breathing to settle down.

“I got this. Go take a shower,” she said soothingly.

And Merle – for some goddamn reason – found himself listening to her, stiffly heading for a doorway that he somehow knew was a bathroom. He yanked the door shut and turned to find himself staring into a mirror. He was startled to see himself... But not.

This man in the mirror was healthier looking. He was still gruff, but he had less harsh lines to mar his face, less scars and- Merle let out a cuss and a yelp as he realized... He had both his hands. He looked down at his right and and flexed it, grabbing the rest as his body shook. 

What the fuck was going on?! 

Was he high? He hadn't had a good high in a year since the world went to shit. Hell the closes thing he'd had to a high was the state he'd been in when the fucking Governor... 

Merle jerked forward, his hands gripping the side of the sink so hard his knuckles turned white, memories – painful ones – flashing through him. The fight with Daryl. The shoot out with the Governor's men. Fighting the bastard. Him biting – fucking biting! - his fingers off. The gun going off...

After that everything had gone grainy and then he'd been here, waking up in bed with some sticky fingered kid and Girl waking him up and wearing nothing but boxers. Merle straightened at the thought of Girl. She'd looked... Happy. Glowing. Her round stomach didn't take away her soft features or dim those Bambi-eyes that she'd looked at him with while he'd been at the prison...

Turning on the faucet, Merle scooped water onto his face and shook his head, sputtering. He had to be fucking hight. There was no goddamn way this was happening! He was either fucking high or...

“Merle? Are you okay!”

He jumped at the tap on the door and turned around as it opened. Girl stared at him with those big eyes of hers, filled to the brim with concern and... Love. That jerked him up straight and he growled at her.

“M'fine, Girl,” he gruffly answered, trying to portray that she needed to back off because right now he wasn't sure what-

His thought came to a halt as she stepped forward without any fear and wrapped her arms around him, pressing her swollen stomach against him and nuzzeling her face into his skin and holding him close. His whole body was stiff and blood was rushing down south at how soft and warm her hands felt as the splayed across his scared back.

A part of him – a foreign nagging part – felt relief at feeling Girl grabbing at him like that. It was like this was normal. Like Girl always did this and had always done this and would continue to do this. And that same, foreign nagging part was strong enough for him to relax just enough to reach down and hold her close by her waits.

“The hells goin on around here, Girl?” he rasped, his voice fading as she nuzzeled and held him so warm and loving like it had his head spinning.

“Girl, huh? You haven't called me that since we were dating,” she mumbled, and Merle's head spun even more.

Dating? When the Hell- What the fuck- What?! Questions and confusion bounced around his head and he grit his teeth. He didn't like being confused. Didn't like feeling out of the damn loop of things! And right now he felt like he was out of a pretty big fucking loop.

“Girl, wha-”

He was cut off as a loud horn of a truck went off outside along with the reving of a motorcycle that was followed by a gasp and yell of excitement from three different little ones.

“UNCLE DARYL!”

“MOMMY! AUNT CAROL'S HERE!”

“BAAAHH!”

Merle heard Girl let out a laugh – felt her warm breath on his chest – as she lowered her arms and straightened, going to the window to peek out. Merle followed and looked out, his eyes landing on a blue pick-up truck and his little brother pulling up on a Harley.

“Oh I'm not even dressed yet!” Girl hissed before she was ducking easily around him to the bedroom he'd scrambled out of. He damn near felt his mouth become the desert as she stripped out of the shirt and the flannal pants and started pulling on new clothes, standing before him in a maternity bra and undies but still showing off some pretty fucking fine legs and ass and wide, curving hips.

Merle swallowed as more blood ran south and he could feel he was getting hard as a fucking rock watching Girl strut around practically naked as she went through a drawer looking for clothes. She must have felt his eyes on her because she turned and looked at him, eyes traveling down south before she blushed but gave him a damn sexy smile.

“Easy, Merle. Wait til Daryl leaves,” she teased, and Merle found his mouth jumping ahead of his brain.

“Ah come on now, Sug, little brother knows all about that shit. He can wait on us,” he drawled before almost reeling at the words that had come so easily from his mouth.

He waited for Girl to look mortified, but instead she laughed and shook her head before pulling on a green top and matching pants that were made of a stretching, soft material. She sauntered easily up to him and without any shyness, kissed him full on the mouth.

Merle found himself growling against her lips and reaching up to pull at her hair and hold her close. She made a mewling sound that had his cock stirring and he bit back a curse as she nibbled on the bottom of his lip before pulling away easily.

“Later,” she breathed, kissing his cheek before heading off out the door and leaving him with one hell of a hard-on and even more confused.

“Come here ya little asskickers!” Merle heard Daryl yell outside, yanking him from his frantic thoughs as he walked to the shower and threw off his boxers. Quickly – he had a lot of fucking questions for his little brother – Merle showered in cold water to handle his problem before scrubbing down and drying off with a towel.

Shrugging off any shyness about his nakedness, Merle went to the room and went to the drawer Girl hadn't touched and easily found a new pair of boxers, dark blue jeans, socks, and a black muscle shirt. He noted that all of his stuff was nicely folded and he was surprised to find it even smelled clean. That was weird.

Tying his boots up – which he found stashed by a few other pairs of shoes in his size – Merle pushed his way through the rather decent sized country home and down a set of stairs to a livingroom that was covered in toys with photos hanging on the wall and over a fireplace.

Without thinking, Merle stopped and found himself staring at a wedding picture of himself and Girl before his eyes darted to a picture of Girl and him holding a set of twin boys. The pictures went on and his heart jumped to his throat at picture of the boys older.

They were almost splitting images of when he was their size. The difference was they looked healtheir and the difference between the two was their hair and eyes. One had his sharp blue eyes while sporting girls hair as the other sported his curling locks and Girl's blue-green eyes. They both had his grin and both had Girl's nose.

He reeled at the sight before he turned and quickly made out the door, needing his brother and needing to get some damn fresh air.

“Hey, Merle. Your ass planning on sleeping all day, or what?” Daryl drawled as he stepped onto the porch and found his baby brother leaning against the porch's railing and chewing on a toothpick.

“Uncle Merle! Uncle Merle!”

Merle had barely any time to react as a tiny figure launched itself at him. He almost tossed the kid, but some other instinct instead easily caused him to catch the kid and heft him up until he was holding a rather heavy kid... That looked like a mini fucking Daryl.

His heart swelled and warmed at the sight of the boy. He even had Daryl's shy smile and the kids long, unruly slick looking hair. He was dressed in jeans and a Duck Dynasty t-shirt and was holding a nerf crossbow in his hand as he smiled at him.

“Buck, the Hell I tell ya about launching yourself at people like that. Getting too big for that shit,” Daryl growled at the boy.

The boy – Jesus he named the kid after their Uncle Buck – scowled and grumbled and Merle had to laugh. Jesus fucking Christ it was like looking at the past right before him at a little Daryl growling and grumbling at Merle as the two were fighting.

But the boy wasn't sporting any bruises and he sure as hell didn't feel underweight and lacking any meals or showing any signs of having gotten a bone or two broken or having gone without food for a week. He felt healthy and his skin even looked healthy and mark free.

“Like lookin into a mirror to the past, lil' brotha,” Merle said as he placed Buck down and watched the boy slink off to go play with the twins. His eyes found Girl standing with Mouse as they both held babies – Mouse holding a girl that looked like her but with Daryl's eyes – and Mouse's daughter standing with the other women, though she did wave shyly at him before she listened to the two talk.

“Dad! Conway took my pistol!”

“Hank took mah sword!”

“Did not!”

“Did too, buttwad!”

Merle stared at the boys in disbelief. The blonde – Hank – scowled and shoved the darker blondish brown – Conway – with a hard push. Conway hit the ground before getiing up and throwing a rock at him. The two went to shove at each other, and Merle – like on some kinda weird instinct – walked up and easily split the two by holding them both by their arms, firmly but not bruisingly so.

The two boys breathed heavily, but instead of cowaring under his glare at them, they met his gaze with their own glares, though their lips wobbled and they looked ready to plead their case in tears. Merle shook his head and found he wanted to laugh.

“Y'all best knock it off or aint either of ya goin huntin' wif yer Uncle and I,” he said, not sure where the words were coming from or how the fuck he somehow knew him and Daryl would be going hunting with Daryl today.

The boys stared wide eyed and began to babble at him - “we'll be good!” “Nooo! Please, dad!” “We'll be good honest!” - before they both were grabbing at his arm and shaking him pleadingly. 

He shook his head and mumbled at them - “Go on, go play, and I'll think about it” - before motioning them on. The two quickly scattered away to a tree fort with a slide where Buck joined them along with Mouse's girl – Sophia – and leaving Girl and Mouse with the two girls who were playing in the grass and crawling after the other.

“Ya alright, Merle?” he heard Daryl ask.

Merle turned to tell his brother that no, he wasn't fucking alright, when he found himself instead turning to look at a man in a gray suite, cloud-like beard and white, long hair and a calm smile. He was looking at Merle with a calmness that made Merle uneasy.. But also feel relaxed. And as he looked into the mans sky-blue eyes that seemed to see for miles... Merle knew who he was.

“I don't blame you for not begging, Merle,” he said calmly.

Merle swallowed thickly before straightening. He had a lot he wanted to say to this bastard. He wanted to punch him. Wanted to scream and call him shit for what he'd done to him. He wanted to ask him why the fuck he hadn't been around or helped him or his little brother out when they needed. Why he let the world go to shit!

But instead “Why am I here? The Hell you put me in this place?”

“This is your heaven, Merle. This is what you've wanted, deep down. Stability, a family, a closeness. This is what you've been granted,” he answered simply, and Merle wanted to pull his hair out.

He opened his mouth to call him a no good fucker and that he didn't understand what the Hell he was talking about, but all his words failed him and instead – to his horror – he choked. Tears were bursting from him and he was choking down a rage filled scream.

“The hell am I doin here! I should be burnin on a damn steak now, shouldn't I?” he choked, and the man shook his head, not even phased by Merle's slow outbreak of emotions.

“You've always held a deep belief in my existence, in my words. Even if you did not follow them, you kept them and me in your heart, Merle Dixon. You were accepted as my child and your sins forgiven. That is why you are here, Merle,” he said softly, placing a hand on Merle's dipped head, sending a soothingness through him.

Merle – his eyes having closed – slowly opened them and found Girl – Beth heading his way, looking concerned. The baby in her arms cooed at him and she reached out with her free hand and held his hand, giving it a slow squeeze that asked so many thing but also gave so much love.

_“This is your heaven, Merle. This is what you've wanted, deep down. Stability, a family, a closeness. This is what you've been granted.”_

“I'm alright, Sugar,” he croaked with a slow smile as he brought her hand to his mouth and kissed her palm. She smiled at him a sun-shaming smile and she stepped in closer.... And Merle felt whole. It took a while but... Here in heaven, in death... He felt whole for the first time.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me be clear that I am a non practing Luthern and my knowledge of the whole Heaven/Hell thing is limited to basically movies and random thoughts I've had in the past. I don't claim to know anything and I don't claim to be a religious expert. But the show does have religious faith in it, so I'm playing a little off that. Don't like? Sorry I guess.


End file.
